Theme for English as Me
I begin most of my statements with I
because being human, this is where I believe it ends and starts again.
I strive to be able to write with abandon
but all of English is not writing - is it?
I make lists of feeling-evokers
and never give thought to the rules of grammar,
never pay attention to the way things should be.
I am content, sitting with a blank mind.
I am learning how to write in moving vehicles
and constantly contemplating:
are these thoughts less romantic because they are about technology,
Because it is me who is typing them?
Stop thinking everyone who lays eyes on you,
on your words,
is going to fall in love.
I am all the thoughts I have ever thought,
teeming together all at once.
I worry that everything I have ever written is something I’ve
previously read elsewhere and just forgotten.
I wonder if I’m more afraid of learning that there are many others just like me or living in denial of their existence out of stubbornness
and ruminate this all before I’ve had breakfast.
Most of the time, I skip breakfast.
I am stuck between ink and paper and the curves of letters the way a bear is caught in a trap
by the limb
surviving in pain and forever scarred with a mark to show from the experience.
Otherwise not spoken of.
I am striving for the pain of being spoken of.
I am all the words I have ever written.
They come from me.